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I was thankful that Erika had agreed to let us take our driver rather than her VW minibus. That thing had to be forty years old.“I have to tell you a little family history or you won’t understand,” Erika said. “Opa immigrated to the U.S. in the early fifties to work in the printing industry. He met a graphic artist at the company—a big, beautiful, blonde Swedish girl who became my grandmother. Their daughter, Ilsa, was a rebellious child of the late sixties. She protested and marched, and was even found chained to a tree in a national forest where they were going to log. That’s where she met Stew, my father. He’s a short dark half-Cherokee. A few years later, I came along and turned out short like my father, but blonde like my mother. I was obsessed with printing from the first time I saw a press. I’ve been apprenticed to Opa for six years now. As long as he’ll keep me, I’ll stay with him. One day I want to take over his shop as a master printer.”“Wow, Erika. Will you continue to do. On the way.” I looked over at Jerry. “Okay, Field Training Officer Wolinski, what is the official and approved MPD method to remove a deer from a kitchen?”“Holy Christ! I have no idea. It’s out of season, so we shouldn’t just shoot it, you know.”“Let’s try to avoid bloodshed. That would probably freak her right the hell out,” I countered.“Yeah.” I kept rolling towards the address. “I’ve never had a deer in a house before. I did have a bat once. Some woman went up to her bedroom and found one had managed to fly down her chimney and was flying around the house. She ran out in her nightgown and went to the neighbors’ place, called it in from there. That spooked me, too! I kept worrying about rabies, you know,” he admitted.“Or becoming a vampire. Remind me not to ride around with you during a full moon.”We got there in a few minutes and found a woman standing on the front lawn looking very distraught. “There’s a deer in the house!” she told us.“A deer?” I asked. “How did he get there?”“I.
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